Respect. Integrity. Empathy.

Respect goes to the core of actually being human. If we sense we are not being respected (or at least acknowledged as existing) we close down. We cease engaging and our sense of self-worth collapses; or we become angry (either way, our mind gets busy with negativity).

How do you feel when you’re ignored? How would a customer feel?

“Respect yourself and others will respect you.” ~ Confucius

Integrity, the inner sense of “wholeness” deriving from qualities such as honesty and consistency of character, is critical to our acceptance of self. When we live according to the values, beliefs and principles that we have set for ourselves, and have proclaimed to others, we feel at ease. Similarly, one may judge that others “have integrity” to the extent that they act according to the values, beliefs and principles they claim to hold. This too puts us at ease.

How do you feel toward someone you consider lacks integrity? How would a customer behave if they felt that you lacked integrity?

‘Walking the talk’ enables us to establish trust with others, on the basis that we each have a reasonable expectation that the other will do as they say or imply. This has been critical to humanity since caveman times – when collaboration was essential to survival. Thus integrity, or rather the ability to sense it, has been honed in humans, experientially, over thousands of generations.

“If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters.” ~ Alan Simpson

Empathy, perhaps the most remarkable of all human skills, enables us to ‘feel’ how others feel – to connect non-verbally to experience another persons emotional response to their context. An empathetic connection to someone adds depth to our understanding of them – it goes beyond our rational response to what we observe, or what we are told.

Do you cry when watching a sad movie? Do your customers feel for you when you lose a deal?

“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from his angle as well as your own.” ~ Henry Ford